Discuss safety in the forum.
1. Introduction
To start with, we'd like to say that this page doesn't replace your common sense, and it doesn't overrule any legislation applying where you might be reading it. It's just a series of advice, either coming from experience or from various Internet sources that we have come to follow. We decline any responsibility in any of the issues you might encounter following these recommendations, and do not condone any hazardous activities based on a partial understanding of these non-exhaustive advice.
You might roll your eyes at this and ask if this section was really necessary, but the thing is that tie-up games involve one person – or more – to be completely unable to do anything to help himself. Maybe it’s a cousin, a brother, your best friend, or even yourself - and there is plenty of stuff that can go wrong while you’re tied up. We’re not trying to scare you away; on the contrary, we’d like to show you that, if some basic safety measures are taken, there isn’t actually much to worry about.
We hope the following helps you to play safe and still have lots of fun.
2. Psychological safety
First of all, tie-up games are fun when everybody agrees to play them. Regardless of the number of players, it must be all agreed beforehand what is and what is not fun. Whatever the setting (a group playing a game in the woods or two friends having a little role-play), if any tie-up activity is to happen, it must be consensual. Always.
Yes, this site features non-consensual stories, but they are just that, stories, and not handbooks for your own games. So, we might enjoy reading kidnapping, hazing, or rough-play stories. However, in real-life, kidnapping, humiliating or debasing someone who didn't ask for it is just plain wrong; it's also illegal in most countries.
A golden rule is: don’t do anything the “prisoner” wouldn’t want you to do to him.
If it's a group game, the tie-up part should be no surprise to anyone. It is important to let everybody know; some people may have some phobia or not enjoy it at all. Plan before starting the game, how the reluctant player will be dealt with. No one needs to lose a friend by having him experience some trauma.
If you play with just one friend, discuss in advance what is acceptable: How long? How rough? Will "tortures" be allowed, and which ones?
2.1 Safe words.
Having a safe word for emergencies is also a good idea. Once the prisoner pronounces the chosen word, torture should stop right away and next check if he’s ok. Now, it’s important that the word have nothing to do with pleading or begging – for example, “popcorn” -, for you’ll find yourself yelling “stop!” at the top of your lungs during a tickle-torture, even though you don’t really want it to stop. If the prisoner will be gagged, replace the word by a repeated series of decided upon sounds, like three grunts, three knocks or finger-snaps, or whatever else…
2.2 Newbies
Also, take into account whether the friend you’re playing with has been tied up before.
You may ask yourselves why. Take, for example, sailing or mountain climbing (note these involve ropes also): would you try to cross the Atlantic Ocean or climb the Everest on your first day? Certainly not, you'll have to train and learn first how to handle simpler tasks and then proceed to more and more difficult ones. It is good to have an appropriate rhythm: too slow can be boring, but too fast can be overwhelming.
Also, some people get really nervous on their first time, so take it easy; you don’t want to be too tough on your buddy if you want him to play again with you some other time.
Luckily, being a good tug player does not require as many skills and training as sailing across the Atlantic Ocean. You need to know three or four basic knots and basic lashings (google these two words, usually along with scouts, and you'll have all the reference needed); have a little adapted equipment; think a bit about it using your common sense and discussing with your playmates; then you're all set to experiment and improve.
You may start with escape challenges, in which you actually try out how to actually restrain someone. The first few times around, it is perfectly logical that if you use only ropes, your friend will manage to escape. The next time around, think about your technique rather than tightening the rope further.
From our experience, it's extremely difficult to restrain someone completely without making it painful for the prisoner with just ropes. So, think carefully, and always stay on the safe side. You're better off losing the "You can't keep me tied up!" bet than hurting your friend.
Be sensible as you start on duration or positions: being hogtied for a whole night may be a cool fantasy, but it will also turn out very unpleasant after half an hour if you're not flexible enough. It is wise to change the bonds and position often enough so it doesn't go from uncomfortable to painful. And it avoids annoying cramps.
Twenty to thirty minutes in a position usually get the prisoner to the point to which some elements of the tie-up are unpleasant, so be considerate and make sure you don't reach the point of "very unpleasantly uncomfortable"...
So, we can't stress this enough: rely on your experience, talk about it with your friends, and do not get your inspiration from fiction. Though some stories have some cool ideas, they might not all be doable in real life; they might even be dangerous. Whenever you try something different, ensure every five minutes at least the tied up person is OK; when we say check, it doesn't mean you leave the room and come back every five minutes. It means that not only you're there but you also get the insurance everything's going all right.
3. Physical safety
Play with people who are in proper health condition. Though it's quite unlikely you'll get a doctor's certificate to tell you can play TuGs, as is required in some sports, play with people who don't have a heart condition, a known history of epileptic seizure, some breathing problem or any other health issue that would make it dangerous. Someone with a cold and hence an obstructed nose should not be gagged with a seal of tape, for instance. If you have any condition that should be mentioned, tell it in advance to your friend.
Make sure the person cannot get hurt by falling. If someone's tied up standing, it means his "captor(s)" are able to catch him at any moment in case of a fall. If someone is tied to a chair, make sure that by twisting and trying to free himself, he cannot fall back and have his head knock the sharp angle of some piece of furniture, etc. See point 3 of dont's!
Three DON’TS:
1) Don't cut off blood circulation.
2) Don't cut off breathing.
3) Don't leave a prisoner on his own (see 1 and 2).
This seems all rather sensible, and we hope that if you've made it all the way here, you're thinking, "Duh! I knew that already."
Remember, you just want your “prisoner” not to be able to escape, not get him in pain. From there, some logical things to do regarding:
3.1 Restraints
Use rope that won't cut into the flesh: it should be at least 0,8 millimeters or 0.25 inch, and several turns will spread the pressure without preventing the blood to flow. That's one of the great secrets of a successful tie-up: three or four turns of rope will prevent pain while restraining better. You may want to have long ropes (5 meters/ 15 feet) to do so, and double them over.
From there, shorter pieces of rope may be used to link the different loops and tightening the rest. Do not go for overly long pieces of rope in the beginning; it's better to have lots of "shorter" pieces than one long big network that will prove tough to remove.
Baling twine should be discarded. Same with wire or anything that can cut or bite into the flesh too much. If you don't have rope, long strips of cotton material can work (think torn sheets). Check on a regular basis that hands and feet are not turning blue or going cold: this would mean blood doesn't reach them. If they do, loosen the ropes.
Make sure no rope strangles your friend. Always have the rope behind the neck if you want to do a cool shibari-type rope network.
Be very careful if you use handcuffs. They need to be put on properly, not too tight, so they don't exert two much pressure on the nerves on top of the bloodstream.
3.2 Gags
Gags are an area of the tie-up that should be considered very cautiously; most really bad accidents occur because of gags that are dangerous. You might want to experiment on yourself beforehand to understand how it feels before you actually gag someone in a TuG.
When using gags, you have to be sure they may be removed quickly. If the nose gets plugged and the mouth is taped up, you've got two minutes at the most to remove the gag before some major brain damage occurs. A cleave gag, though not extremely silencing, will let your "captive" breathe through his mouth.
It’s not advisable to thoroughly gag someone on his first tie-up game; he might be somewhat scared by the condition of not being able to communicate with you if he’s not enjoying it. So a "pretend" gag can be used, as just a scarf slightly tied over the mouth.
If you put something in one's mouth, make sure it cannot be swallowed and obstruct his wind pipe. A golf ball wrapped inescapably into a scarf used as a cleave gag will fill the mouth better, but it won't go down and choke your friend to death.
Also, do not stuff the mouth with something that may break down in small pieces and slide to the back of the mouth, e.g. tissues. A big mouth-filling gag can quickly be unpleasant too, if it exerts too much pressure on the jaws; it might even result in a dislocated jaw.
Be sure your friend isn't nauseous, or doesn't risk throwing up because he's got something in his mouth. You see the obvious hazard of such a situation. Choking in one's vomit is cool only for building rock stars' legends once they've been buried, so avoid at all costs.
The mouth, throat or lungs can be infected by bacteria if you insert anything dirty into one's mouth. Hence, do not stuff dirty socks or worn underwear in one's mouth; same as lots of things above: it may be cool in stories, but germs on socks and underwear may induce some very unpleasant after effects. Only put clean cloth into one's mouth, making sure no part can actually slide down and hamper breathing.
In stories they will wrap many turns of duct tape around a person's head. In real life, take into account that such a gag is quite difficult to remove, so you're better off putting just a few pieces of tape over the mouth. If you use surgical tape, you'll also prevent possible skin allergy problems, since duct tape is not actually designed to be stuck onto people's skin.
Also note that any gag that's wrapped around the head will pull the lips over the teeth, and if it's really tight, it will quickly start to hurt. So, look out for a bearable pressure.
Tickling a gagged person can also be hazardous; you have to be certain at all times that your friend is not choking.
3.3 Emergencies
Always stay within earshot from your "prisoner". If anything goes wrong, the one doing the tie-up is responsible for the one tied up. So, in case of breathing difficulties, you must rush to the rescue. You only have two minutes, remember. So, if you've got to go to the bathroom, or do something in the next room, you may loosen the gag so it doesn't hamper his breathing or just have a scarf that could be removed easily by the "prisoner"; you'll then get the pleasure of gagging him more efficiently upon your return.
Just in case, always have a pair of sharp scissors nearby (sharp blades, but blunt-tipped, so you don't hurt the person once using it), or something you can cut your friend loose with in case of emergency without cutting him or yourself.
This point here is key: being tied up is fun as long as you know that your "captor" is looking after you. You trust him not to harm you. Even if the role-play has him acting as a villain, you know it's only pretend. In the end, at the moment you decided, or before - if you can't take it anymore and go for the "safe word" -, you'll be free of your bonds and the game will be over.
4. One DO: have fun!
You might have noticed we didn't give exact how-tos, since it seems difficult to cover the whole spectrum of possibilities, but we hope that it gives basic awareness of the do's and dont's of TuGs.
If wondering whether some idea of yours is dangerous, you're better off discarding it and sticking to safe, tried, known solutions.
This being said, there are still lots of online resources to help you out in finding ways to have some fun and safe tie-up games, so explore these knot-tying resources to restrain others and have tons of fun!
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